Safety Plan

This is my plan for increasing my safety and preparing in advance for the possibility of further violence. While I do not have control over my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him/her and how to best get myself and my children to safety.

Step 1: Safety during a violent incident.

Abused women cannot always avoid their abuser's violence. In order to increase my safety, I may:

Keep my purse and car keys ready and put them someplace where I can easily access them. I will also hide a spare set of keys.
Teach my children how to use the telephone to call 911
Tell neighbors and friends about the abuse and ask them to call 911 if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house.
If I have to leave my home, I will go __________________. Decide this even if you don't think there will be a next time.
When I think we are going to have an argument, I will try to move to a space that I can escape from, like ___________________. Suggestion: Try to avoid arguments your abuser starts in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons or in rooms without an outside door. Bathrooms, kitchens, and garages often have things in them which can be used as weapons.
I will use my judgment and senses to enhance my safety. I will do whatever I can to protect myself until I am out of danger. I know best what works with my abuser.

Step 2: Safety when preparing to leave.

Abused women often leave their homes for safety, especially when they live with their abusers. If I decide to leave,I need to plan carefully in order to increase my safety. My abuser might hurt me if he/she thinks that I might leave. To make leaving safer for me, I can:

Open a secret savings account to increase my independence.
Check with ______________and_______________ to see if I can stay with them or if they can lend me money.
Call 1-800-494-8100 (in Rhode Island) to get the numbers domestic violence hotlines. I can then call to get shelter or to talk.
Practice my escape plan with my children, if that is safe.

Step 3: Safety in my own home.

I can do other things to increase my safety at home, like:

Change the locks on my doors and windows.
Replace wooden outside doors with steel or metal doors.
Install a security system: add extra locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic alarm system, door alarms, etc.
Install outside motion detecting flood lights that go on whenever someone comes close to my house.
Tell people who care for my children who can (and who can't) pick them up. Ask them to call 911 if my abuser shows up to get them when I have a restraining order giving me temporary custody.
Caller ID:

If I live with my abuser, I can check with VERIZON to see if our monthly telephone service includes Caller ID. (If it does, your abuser could be using Caller ID to see who is calling you when he/she isn't home, and you might not even know it.).

I can also check with VERIZON to see if my telephone line is blocked to prevent anyone with Caller ID (like my abuser) from getting my unlisted telephone number if I call them. [VERIZON's toll free blocking check number is 1(401) 738-9210].

If I want more information about how Caller ID can affect me or why I should find out how to use blocking, I should call a Rhode Island domestic violence hotline (several are listed at the end of this safety plan).

Step 4: Safety with a protection order.

Some abusers obey "no contact" orders (issued by police) or restraining orders (issued by courts), but I can never be sure if my abuser will obey my protection order. I may need to ask the police to arrest my abuser if he/she does not obey a restraining order.

To help the police or the courts enforce my protection order, I can:

Keep my official copy of the protection order in a safe place where I can find it quickly. Note: Always keep a copy with you, 24 hours a day, wherever you go. You may need to show it to the police to prove you have it if your abuser violates it.
Give copies of my restraining order to the local police departments of the communities where I work and/or live.
Tell people around me that I have a restraining order against my abuser. Ask my employer, my co-workers, my religious leader, my family, my friends, and my neighbors to tell me or call the police if they see my abuser looking for me when I am around.
If my abuser destroys my copy of my restraining order, I can get another copy from the courthouse where I got it.
If my abuser violates the restraining order, I can call the police and report it, contact my attorney, call my victim advocate, and/or tell the court about the violation. I should always write down the date and time that it was violated, and what happened.

Step 5: Safety on the job and in public.

I will need to decide if, when, and how I will tell others that I have been abused and that I may still be at risk. My friends, family and co-workers can help protect me. I can think about who to ask to help me become safe. I can also:

Shop and do banking at places different from those my abuser knows about, at times that are not normal for me.
Tell my boss, the security supervisor and others at work that my abuser is dangerous to me.
When leaving work, if I see my abuser, I can___________
When I'm driving, if problems occur, I can___________
If I take a bus, train, or taxi, and I see my abuser, I can____________

Step 6: Safety and my emotional health.

Being abused and put down can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Building a new life for myself (and my children) takes a lot of courage and energy. To save up my emotional energy and resources, I can:

Call ____________ and _____________ for moral support
Go to support groups at a domestic violence agency in order to get validation and support for myself.
When I feel down and think about going back to my abuser, I can__________
If I plan to use drugs or alcohol to dull my pain, I can get treatment and help from _____________

Step 7: Items to take when leaving.

If I decide to leave my abuser, I will need to bring some important things with me. I can leave a copy of my restraining order, extra clothes, and spare car and house keys with a friend just in case I have to leave quickly.

Following is a list of what I can bring if I decide to leave for safety.
* Starred items are the most important.
When I leave, I should take:

* A packed bag (I can hide it somewhere in case I need to leave in a hurry)

* My identification documents

* Birth certificates (mine and my children's)

* Social security cards

* Money (if possible), checkbook, passport savings book

* ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) card

* Credit cards

* Keys to house, car, office, safety deposit boxes, etc.

* Driver's license and registration

* Medications (mine and children's)

* Welfare or other identification

* Work permits, green card

* Passport

* Children's favorite toys and/or blankets

*Address book (especially if it has where I'm staying in it)

Divorce papers

Medical records (mine and children's)

Children's school and vaccination records

Lease/ rental agreements, house deed

Mortgage payment book

Insurance papers

Important and sentimental family pictures

Jewelry

Small saleable objects

Other things of special sentimental value that my abuser might destroy

Item 8: Telephone numbers that I need to know:

Police departments for home, work, school: 911 or__________
Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 401-467-9940 **
The Victims of Crime 24 Hour Statewide Helpline 1-800-494-8100 **
Local battered women's safe home, (WRCSC - 782-3990 **)
Courthouse numbers (places to go for restraining orders): 401-782-4174 (Washington County) or 277-6936 (Providence County) or ____________
Children's school number: _____________
Religious Leader: _______________
Rhode Island Legal Services: 401-274-2652 or 1-800-662-5034
Sexual Assault and Trauma Resource Center 401-421-4100 **

** We do NOT use Caller ID, and we always block returned calls for confidentiality.

The Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence